Kleeman's Last Word

The Best Albums of 2007

It's hard to characterize this year in music. Awkward? Sure. Plenty of 70s and 60s era knock-off bands? Of course. Underground level alternative bands who wouldn't know what a melody or a hook was if it hit them in the ass? Wouldn't be complete without them. And how about those repackaged pop stars you feel you've heard before because you have? Regurgitation sells.
The only thing the following artists have in common is that they stuck around in my CD player or in my head for great reasons. The fare ranges from Los Angeles' best party band to the peculiar paring of a rock god and a country songstress. Somewhere in between, the brothers who started the glorius ruckus of Pantera blast some furious jams with Mudvayne singer Chad Gray and other metal luminaries, and Argentina's longest-survivng punk band rocks with reckless abandon. Most of the popular music produced this year deserves to be shit on and then flushed down the toilet.
These are the groups and artists' CDs you should consider listening to instead of using them as drink coasters.
There are some obvious choices I left off the list--some that I don't care for and others that failed to intrigue me. I'm not a fervent Feist fan, Mary J. Blidge sings the house down but did not collapse me with her record, the White Stripes are music's answer to waterboarding, I've never been an Elliot Smith nut, and The Shins and Bloc Party are not groups I enjoy.
If I hear that decrepit "Beautiful Girls" song again, I might turn gay just to boycott Sean Kingston. If those whiny punks call for Delilah again, consider sending me to a whacko house. I need a nap after partying like a rockstar. I still beat Toby Keith to a pulp in my dreams for the abominable crap he's howled into my head. And that Icky Thump was pretty icky.
Here are my best of 2007 CD selections.


SMASHING PUMPKINS "Zeitgeist"--Billy Corgan is rock's smartest asshole. The masterpiece he authored in "Mellon Collie" has forever enshrined him as a musical genius. More than 12 years after that record of youthful rage, Corgan revived the separated Pumpkins--er--brought back Jimmy Chamberlin to do a record. While rock cred purists said the reunion disc was a dollar dash for baldy, its contents say otherwise. From the drum and guitar drone of the opening "Doomsday Clock" to the roar of "Tarantula," it's clear Corgan still has a baseball bat pointed in your direction when he wails. Even without guitarist James Iha or D'arcy, the bald lyrical wonder still has the services of Chamberlin, arguably the best rock drummer of the 1990s. As far as Zeitgeist goes, that's a helluva one-two punch.


GALACTIC "From the Corner to the Block"--If you're tired of the same ol' hell breaking lose, wish the fan would hit the shit for a change and want to be slammed beyond your wildest boundaries, enter this record. Obese New Orleans mudsauce anchors the stage for some of the Big Easy's best MCs. On the first track, "What You Need," Stanton Moore pounds a sick funk groove while Lyrics Born spits such lines as "Why we' never had a tender without a white man in the center." It's the start of a record full of blaring horns and anti-discrimination-concious rap. This hip-hop/fusion combo bangs so hard it should be illegal.


OZOMATLI "Don't Mess With the Dragon"--What if you could buy the greatest party in the world and put it in your CD player? As actor John Cusack would affirm, you can do just that with Los Angeles' Ozomatli. The group said it wanted to create a record better suited for the club atmosphere in "Dragon," but don't let that sentiment fool you into thinking the band has lost its musical inspiration. Want a little creativity and variety in your music? The salsa groove of "La Gallina" dances oddly into the heavy funk of Hurricane Katrina tribute "Magnolia Soul." The nine-member party music orgy's song-to-song experimentation often gets weird, changing from a reggaeton refrain to a rock guitar anthem in the same breath. But as these guys always do, they somehow make it work in a way that's as boisterous as it is creative.


MIA "Kala"


ALTERBRIDGE "Blackbird"--They may not be Slayer, but don't call this band the guys who used to be Creed. While Alterbridge singer Myles Kennedy can at times show his tenderness at a corny level, his incredible vocal instrument spurs the musical onslaught of a terrific hard rock band. As he did on the group's debut "One Day Remains," guitarist Mark Tremonti pauses between power chords to prove he can shred. This sophomore effort ear-splits its way through peaks and valleys--a peak being the metal mash of "Buried Alive" and a valley being the sweet "Watch Over You." Alterbridge's three core musicians may have sold 30 million records with Scott Stapp, but they don't need the egotistical, nasal primmadonna to continue making music that matters. You'll have fun bleeding your ears out to the opening anthem "Tie That Binds."


MANU CHAO "La Radiolina"


ALISON KRAUSS AND ROBERT PLANT "Raising Sand"


LCD SOUNDSYSTEM "Sound of Silver"


FOO FIGHTERS "Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace"--Either Dave Grohl is trying to give himself a break during live shows so he doesn't have to scream for 90 minutes or his band has grown up. After giving "Echoes" a few listens--something that must be done to fully appreciate it--the cause for the Foo Fighters' newest evolution could be a little bit of both. This isn't the same band that seized popularity with power chord anthems "This is a Call" and "I'll Stick Around." The Foos can still bring the rock as evidenced in the single "The Pretender" and "Erase, Replace." However, Grohl now layers the distortion assaults with acoustic guitars, falsetto and "Hey Jude"-esque dynamics. The best blitz of the bunch is the two-faced "Let it Die." Acoustical guitars and cafe-volume singing leap into crunchy guitars and Taylor Hawkins' steady skin bashing. In the song's climax, Grohl barks and screams "Why'd you have to go and let this die?" The ambiguous recipient of his rock n' roll roar of a question certainly hasn't killed his band's significance. The soft-loud dynamics sometimes lead to musical masturbation, but most of the album is a pleasant evolution. It rocks like hell while realizing that sometimes the volume knob can be turned down.


12 STONES "Anthem for the Underdog"--Lead singer Paul McCoy scored his biggest break guesting on Evanescence's "Bring Me to Life." His band 12 Stones has enjoyed a lesser success but maintains a fervent fanbase. For those who've not been converted, "Anthem" shows why those faithful stick around. McCoy can sing a pop song without sounding generic and belt a loud rocker without sounding like a pissed off teenager spoiled by daddy's money. The band grooves smartly and gracefully on the ballad "Broken Road," then thunders on the mosh-pit ready "Adrenaline." The disc's real jewel is the haunting "World so Cold," where McCoy begs for humans to get along using his revealing tenor as a weapon. The band swells simply without sounding trite and writes honestly without being obvious. That's an accomplishment worth listening to.


ALICIA KEYS "As I Am"


THELONIUS MONK "Monterey Jazz Festival Live 1964"


KANYE WEST "Graduation"--Would Kanye not be on this list? His third effort in no way topples the stunning "College Dropout," but it sticks at the top of the pile.


AMY WINEHOUSE "Back to Black"--It's not that "I could have heard this exact same song in the 60s" quality that defines the troubled Winehouse. She does Motown with a drunken sass, refusing to go to rehab and pledging to have sex with her demons. It's that both compelling and alarming candor that makes "Back to Black" a winner.


TALIB KWELI "Eardrum"


COMMON "Finding Forever"


JOSHUA REDMAN ELASTIC BAND "Back East"


ATTAQUE 77 "Karmageddon"


JUANES "La Vida...Es Un Ratico"


BLAKE LEWIS "Audio Day Dream"--Lewis may have lost to Jordin Sparks on American Idol, but his first album far surpasses hers. While Sparks is a young talent with a gargantuan voice, her music sounds like the souless work of hired musical engineers. Lewis, however, beatboxes and croons into his own territory. He is an artist, a funky white boy with a style. He may have come off like a poser at times on the show, but his sincerity and purpose can be heard on the thumping, harmonic "End of the World." Even enlisting the help of beatster Lupe Fiasco, Lewis' final product is a worthy listen and pretty cool.


ANNIE LENNOX "Songs of Mass Destruction"


CARRIE UNDERWOOD "Carnival Ride"


RADIOHEAD "In Rainbows"


HELLYEAH "HellYeah"


SODA STEREO "Me Veras Volver . Hits & +"

posted by Robert Kleeman @ 3:26 PM 0 Comments

Rockets epitomize dispassion and underachievement

Shoot, that was not easy.
The Houston Rockets this season have been like a rape scene in a bad movie. They have turned horrible into worse. It doesn't look like this atrocious, non-competitive spell will end anytime soon.
When Rockets owner Leslie Alexander called this the most talented team since the championship years he wasn't wrong. He just hoped that promising talent would be backed by passionate play and a winning record. So much for that, Les.

For this perplexing Houston team, looking up the word "consistency" in the Webster's dictionary might be a good place to start. They cannot move the ball. They cannot hit open shots. Their defense sucks. They could not close out a game against a playoff team to save their lives.
The list goes on, but I will spare you.

It's never a good sign when the hometown fans are outcoaching the coach. Rick Adelman is new, but his first quarter of leadership has been awful.

Let's go through a checklist of No-Duhs that this team cannot seem to recognize:
1) The Rockets will never win if Tracy McGrady reduces himself to a jumpshooter. He must ATTACK the basket on every possession if he hopes to be this team's leader. The best jumpshooter in the world will shoot 47 percent on his BEST night. T-Mac will never win a playoff series by carelessly heaving contested jumpshots.

2) No ball movement means crappy shots. The Rockets should never expect to garner open looks when they stick the ball on one side of the floor. Throwing the ball to McGrady and saying "you do something with it" is a terrible idea. McGrady or someone else just ends up tossing a prayer jumpshot over a double team.
You cannot win a fucking game shooting shit like that.

3) Luther Head is not a point guard. Why Adelman has played Head in this position when he has Aaron Brooks, Steve Francis and Mike James to back up the brick-tastic Rafer Alston beats me. He couldn't handle the ball with Van Gundy so why does Adelman expect radical change.
The new coach would do well to watch what the Dallas Mavericks have done with Jason Terry - bringing him off the bench, getting the ball out of his hands and allowing him to spot up and run the floor as a shooter. Luther Head is a shooter, not a distributor or ballhandler. He should NEVER bring the ball up the floor.

4) If defense wins championships, the Rockets should play some. And how about that help defense? Luther Head cannot guard Josh Howard, so a teammate must come over to help him so that the all-star caliber forward doesn't elevate for the easy kill.
Tim Duncan is a great help defender because he notices when a teammate guarding a superstar player is the victim in a mismatch and needs assistance. The Rockets help has been some of the worst I've seen in years.

5) When Yao Ming scores 19 in the first half against the high-scoring Phoenix Suns on the road, he should get more than one touch in the first seven minutes of the third quarter! This team will not succeed if it fails to get its best player and reliable inside scorer enough touches.

6) Free throws are called what they are for a reason: because they are unguarded points. It's hard to fathom the Rockets making 6-22 against the veteran Detroit Pistons and winning the game, but they did. Missing free throws when the offense is this bad is a recipe for disaster.

There's plenty more where that came from, but again, I will spare you.

It takes talent to lose this badly. If only they could use all of that skill and ability to win.

I hate coming to this conclusion, but I must do so. These Rockets are no better than the New York Knicks. They suck and they play with no heart. Yao Ming can put up all the numbers he wants and the Rockets will still find a way to lose the game.

Watching this team is like torture. The Houston Waterboarders? Why not.

posted by Robert Kleeman @ 10:28 PM 0 Comments